I go back and forth regarding the “purpose” of travel. On the one hand, I see the benefits of using vacation as a time for rest and rejuvenation. Heck, what is more restorative than a week on the beach, reading a good book while sipping a cold, fizzy drink? On the other hand, travel also presents the opportunity to try new things, to challenge yourself, to step beyond the confines of your comfort zone. A trip to India, for example, is hardly restful or restorative, but it’s VERY worthwhile. Even a polite place like Japan, where relatively few people speak English, can stretch your communication and adaptability skills.
I am definitely in a growth (rather than R&R)- mindset when, at age 25, I arrive in Southern Thailand for my first meditation retreat.
Founded almost 100 years ago, Wat Suan Mokkh is a forest monastery located in Chaiya, Thailand, not far from Surat Thani. Inhabited by anywhere from 40-70 monks, the monastery attracts more than 1,000 foreign visitors a year for its traditional, 10-day meditation retreats.
Did I mention that the entire program only costs about $50, total? The instructors at Wat Suan Mokkh clearly want their teachings to get out into the world, hence the low admission fee. In exchange, however, you have to be all in! According to their website: “This meditation retreat is not something for fun…you should leave if you are not certain that want to participate fully in a serious and committed manner.”
As is so often the case with me, I know *nothing* of the challenges ahead of me as I arrive at Suan Mokkh. All I’m thinking is, “Hmm, meditation…that sounds interesting—and cheap! And they’ll feed me, too? I’m so there!”
Little did I know how hard retreat this retreat would be. Our day starts at 4 am, with a reading, meditation and yoga. After breakfast and chores, it’s more Dhamma talks and meditation. We get a 2-hour break for lunch, then it’s more of the same, with “tea” at 6pm. To end the day, it’s yet more meditation, right up to 9pm when we trickle back to our hard wooden pallets for an attempt at sleep.
Then, the same schedule, rinse and repeat, for 9 more days!
Over-achiever that I am, I declare that, like the Thai monks, I will sit on my mat, in a lotus position, for the entire retreat. What a mistake! In no time, my back hurts. My neck aches. My legs and feet incessantly fall asleep. No one told me that retreats are so physically uncomfortable! This isn’t what I signed up for!
Even worse is the incessant buzz of my chattering thoughts, rattling around my brain like frenetic kernels in a popcorn maker. This is one of the hardest things I’ve ever done, made worse by the worldly temptations of Southern Thailand. Throughout the retreat, I’m acutely aware that just outside the monastery grounds, there’s a nearby restaurant with food, drink, music and everything else. Time and time again, I start packing my bags, intending to leave the retreat at the end of the day — only to stop, for some reason, and say to myself, “Just give it one more day!”
It’s not until day nine when I start to get an inkling of what this retreat experience is all about. At that time, my mind starts to quiet down – or at least, the volume setting of my thoughts turns down a few notches. To my amazement, I even manage to sit through a whole 1-hour session without stretching my legs or standing up. “Hmm. Something interesting is going on here.”
In the end, I’m glad I survived through the retreat. The tropical setting was lovely. Being surrounded by orange-clad monks was highly exotic. The Thai-vegetarian food was delicious. Most of all, though, I learned how to meditate. I learned how to observe my mind without trying to control it. And I learned how to notice the changing nature of the world, around and inside of me.
Would I do it again? Absolutely! But next time, I’d insist on sitting in a chair.
(What’s your approach to travel? There’s no right answer. Only you know what you need at any particular point in time. On the other hand, if self-growth is a conscious goal of yours, consider aiming for “uncomfortable opportunities.” Because comfortable experiences rarely produce meaningful growth. Growth is much more likely to happen while navigating moments of discomfort. Followed by a cold, fizzy drink of course.)